Bite-Sized Grief

As Advent begins, there is plenty of time for reflection. As I reflect over the past year and look toward the next, grief has slowly grown at the anticipated losses. The Lord has greatly blessed Daniel and me with wonderful friends and family, that saying goodbye before deployment must be done in ‘bite-sized bits’ as I tell him. Gratefully, my sister and a few of my old college roommates live in St. Louis, while the rest of my family and friends are back in Wisconsin. This allows us plenty of time to plan out saying goodbye to friends and family in both places.

Marie and Daniel with Marie’s sister Christina Kastens and brother-in-law Joshua Kastens

One way to get time with my sister was going to Advent services at her husband’s field work church, Timothy. Unfortunately, sickness struck me for the next two weeks, so I only got to go with her to one service. Since she’s a first-year Lutheran school teacher and a master’s student, her schedule is incredibly busy. This means we squeeze in quality time when we can. However, this Christmas season, my two siblings and I will reunite for board games, poking fun at one another, and one last Christmas season together.

We got to volunteer at Timothy by making German potato salad for their annual Weihnachtsmarkt, which is a German Christmas Market that was started by two former German missionaries!

We said goodbye to one of the loveliest couples, Sean and Hanna McHugh. They’re two of our newest LCMS missionaries who will deploy this February to Romania. Sean McHugh will be the regional business manager, and his wife, Hanna, will accompany him abroad. Hanna made us delicious authentic Chinese food before we challenged each other to a few games of ping-pong. Since we are in Wisconsin in January, this was our goodbye before we both deploy.

Presentations this week have been the best kind of busy! We went to a Fellowship of Christian Athletes club (held in a public school!) and could tell a group of high schoolers about the work being done in the Dominican and the importance of spreading the Gospel in their own communities. We were so excited to speak to a group of athletes about the volleyball program to show them that it truly does not matter what gifts and talents God has given us; He can use them all! Afterward, we hopped a block down the road to give a chapel to a wonderful group of kindergarten through eighth graders. When I asked, “Do you guys know what the Good News is?” A young boy, maybe six years old, gladly shouted out, “HE IS OUR SAVIOR! HE DIED ON THE CROSS FOR OUR SINS AND ROSE AGAIN!” I could’ve handed my chapel message over and let him do the rest with that enthusiasm. It is such a joy to see the youth get so excited about Jesus. My favorite part is calling them to action and telling them they also get to spread the Gospel message in their communities and to show mercy to the surrounding people. 

Marie and Daniel with Pastor Jim and Pastor Wood at Immanuel Oakaville, IL for a chapel presentation!

Lastly, my college friends from all over the country (and world) gathered in my home. We had been planning this for months as a final goodbye, and more importantly, a Christmas party. Unfortunately, due to two presentations in a row and a three-hour Spanish lesson, I had lost my voice. As in, I could not speak for two days, and for the following five I was barely audible. However, it was all worth it to see my whole friend group reunited. We had friends from North Dakota, Tennessee, Wisconsin, Missouri, and finally, my best friend from China came home. She had been teaching at the Concordia Shanghai school as her first call, and nearly every other day, despite being thirteen hours apart, we were on the phone. Finally, she was home. But within two days, we had to say goodbye again. I cried for maybe fifteen minutes when I saw her and cried for about an hour when saying goodbye. This was a bit more than bite-sized grief.

Featuring:

Emily McLain, Leah Flolo, Brigit Burkett, Julie Diercks

Marie Lowitz, Lauren Werries, Sara Krull, Grace Anna Ohlemeyer (not featuring Eleni Dalianis :( who had to return early for work)

Since I deploy in April, and she goes back to China in January, we will miss each other by two months. Although it’s so painful to say goodbye, I could not be prouder of the both of us. In 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 it says, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for it is‌ God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” What could I do if not rejoice that my best friend gets to go and share the love of Christ in China?

Overall, the week was filled with joy, laughter, and yes, a lot of tears. But all of it goes to show how the Lord gives and takes away. It is all within His domain. And best of all, I get to spend eternity with all my friends and family, and that is most certainly something to rejoice about.